Autumn time sadness

After 3 years and 4 months, I broke up with my boyfriend. When I say I broke up with him, I mean we broke up. I'm still not sure who did the breaking but it broke. Anyway, I was fine when it happened, cried a little, but  kinda saw it coming so I wasn't too bad. Now however, I get sad at the drop of a hat. 

By the way, this isn't supposed to be a 'poor me, listen to what makes me sad' post so you can read on without being sick or wanting to hit me.

I didn't realise quite how much of my life I had connected to my relationship, there has been so much in fact, that I regularly get slapped by small things in my day to day tedium that make me go 'oh yeah, i used to have a boyfriend'. For example, the password for my phone was the date we started seeing each other - i failed to notice this until today (its has been changed), I also didn't notice how much I talk about him - almost every conversation I have involves me connecting what we're talking about to him and every other song that I hear makes me think of a time when we sang it in his car or when we sent it to each other just to say it was really good. 

But that stops now! Now I am strong independent black woman! (this is a joke)

Now I can do what I like, when I like. I don't need to worry about not talking for 2 days in case someone gets angry because I don't have to talk to him! We're trying the 'let's be friends' thing at the minute and I do find it odd not talking every day, because quite simply he was my best friend. But it's too goddamn weird to talk to him about having a bad day because the way he used to fix it was to be a complete twat with me and make me laugh -  that just doesn't work these days. 

I'm not sure why it's taken over a week for me to start to feel sad and to notice all the things in my life that are linked to the relationship and everything that's going to have to change, but it sure is horrible. God knows what'll happen next, but I hope it isn't as confusing as all this!

Men are nuts, woman are crazy. 

Items of note. #2

The iPhone!

Just got one, not a new one a second or third hand one of the boyfriend but I am still as happy as a crab or whatever that saying is.  :)

I'm not totally in love with because of the name, or the fact that the camera is amazing. I love it for the QWERTY keypad, I know my old phone had this, but it just seems so much better on this thing. I also like Doodle Jump :P

I'm looking for a case for it now, because I am a useless bugger and it'll be dropped numerous times before the end of the week. Apparently cases for the 3 are hard to find, I have a back up idea anyway. I want a nice pretty one, but if not I'll settle for a plain black one. As long as it stops Clarence from dying, yes Clarence. Named by boyfriend, I only got him on the condition that his name wouldn't change. I love Clarence :)

Since getting it I've been given a tutorial on how to use it. You need to ask it nicely to turn on by shouting ON! It helps if no one is looking when you do this as it is shy. Ohh, imagine if phones had personalities that we could recognise. It'd be hilarious to hear someone say that there phone was being a bitch and actually meaning it, as if there phone was talking back. I amuse myself .

I've also been advised as to what apps I should get for it. I've got facebook, funny pics and a few newspapers so far.. Any ideas?

Items of note. #1

The item of note today is a fort! A plain, old fashioned fort made out of blankets and pillows. 

This is my fort. :)

My fort is awesome for the simple fact that we made it at silly o'clock in the morning because I made a nest on the bed and the idea steamrolled from there. 

The reason's for my fort being awesome are simple. 

1. Made me feel like a kid again

2. Got to build a fort

3. It was cosy (especially with boyfriend in it as well)

4. It distracted us both from the terror of exams and assessments for a while

Everyone should build a fort regularly in their adult life. It makes everything so much more exciting. Example - watching a dvd in a fort seems so much cooler than watching a dvd while sitting on your bed. Doesn't it? I know you agree. Don't lie, you want a fort. 

Damn you little fort.

Whoopey!!

It is officially 2012 and for some reason I am supposed to take this opportunity to make daft promises to myself which will make me a better person! Whoever said 'new year, new you' is a dickhead. I'd say that if you are that intent on changing something about yourself, you'll do it as soon as the idea comes to you..

If you suddenly decide in the middle of September that you are gonna lose some weight and lead a healthier lifestyle and are truly serious about it, then you'll start right there in September. You won't put it off until January 1st because it says somewhere that the next year in your life should be different. I don't know what magic is supposed to be behind January 1st, but I'll let you know now that there isn't any. Some advertising student made it up so that the sales of exercise videos and equipment, as well as gym membership would sky rocket.  In fact, it's been shown that most people break their NY resolution within 10 days of the new year.

So, besides that little rant, I wanted to make this post about Christmas. It came and went without and major issues and even the minor ones were incredibly minor. I think because this was my first time being away from home for so long, coming home for Christmas seemed like a present in itself (that's quite deeep) ((so deep infact, that it has three e's)). I was so happy to be home, as any of you who had read my last 8(?) posts would know that I was more than happy to do anything and everything that was asked of me. This coupled with the fact that my mum had just had some awesomely robotic surgery made me a daughter from heaven :)

Christmas morning dawned and the mature adult in me woke up at a reasonable time - 8:45 and instead of opening all my presents, I sat in an armchair and read a book until everyone else woke up. I thought that since I hadn't asked for any present and therefore everything that was below the tree was a surprise, I would wait until the lady who bought them awoke so she could experience the sheer joy of watching me opening them. 

When mum finally feel out of bed and came to open presents the fun began. I honestly love watching people opening their gifts rather than getting my own as I like to know that what the were given is something that they really like. You CAN tell whether or not someone is faking a look of happiness and when they do I try to be discreet and not mention it. Considering that I'm on a student budget I think I did well with my Christmas shopping for the family this year. Or as we say in Enfield - the fam. Brother's 1 & 2 received - zilch, but they will get something nice for their birthdays. Sister got a Westlife calender and a DVD of some sad old movie about a doggie. Mother got tickets to see one of her favourite comedians, an apron with Wonder Woman on it and the obligatory set of books. Father got desperately needed clothes and some books. I did not, however, do so well on the boyfriend front. One angry birds t shirt which included little thought and a Lion King DVD which he already knew about. He will however also be getting something awesomer for his birthday than the drivel which girlfriend gave him for our 2nd Christmas together. 

So, here is Christmas - 

'Oh Come All Ye Faithful'

So, it's the 2nd of December and I have no idea what to write about... Lemme think for a bit (19: 28)

OOH! Winter Wonderland! So Hyde Park Winter Wonderland is cool - ish. I went there on Tuesday evening and had a very nice time, once I'd gotten over the ice skating fiasco.

Boyfriend thought it'd be a lovely romantic thing for us to go ice skating together, because it's Christmas and whatever. I didn't want to go at first cos I thought it was going to be expensive, but then we realised it was gonna  be £20 quid for the both of us cos, we're students and stuff :) I was still a bit worried. I've never been skating, so I was a bit scared and yes I did whinge - a lot. 

So, we got there, I panicked some more, beat myself up by saying that I had to go skating cos boyfriend paid and put the damn things on. Of course we had to pick the seats farthest away from the ice rink, so I wobbled like a baby giraffe to the queue and panicked some more. Cutting a long story short - I couldn't do it. I was far too nervous. As you might know, I can barely walk in my on flat shoes, on flat, fry ground when I'm sober. So trying to skate, on ice, in ice skates just wasn't going to work at all. 

So, here's you link for today...

It's special :D