I was reading through some of the older posts at http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/ when I came across one detailing incredibly stupid things the writer had done as a child. Of course, after reading this I began to think of all the stupid things that I got up to when I was young.
The thing that really seems to stick out in my mind is the day I couldn't find my brother and went on an adventure. To fully understand this story you need a bit of background. When I started primary school, my eldest brother Thomas had just started first year, my other brother, Sammy had just started primary 5 and was allocated the task of looking after me. As we lived in the middle of somewhere we had to get a bus to and from school. Getting there was easy as we all left at the same time and got the same bus, coming home was harder. As I was only supposed to be in school until 2:00 and Sammy got out at 3:00, Thomas didn't finish school until 3:30 and was at a different school so he couldn't do much.This meant I had an hour to sit in the classroom with my teacher and do homework, play about and drink milk. Usually at about 2:55 I'd gather my stuff together and walk from my class at one end of school to Sammy's class at the other end. There was never any risk with this because all I had to do was walk through a few corridors and down some stairs and there I was. I'd wait outside the classroom until everyone came out and then Sammy and I would walk to the shop, buy some sweeties, wait for the Thomas to get out of school and then wait on the bus.
However, one day I walked from my room to Sammy's and he was gone :O I panicked a little bit because the bell hadn't gone yet, so I hadn't missed him and even if I had been late he would've waited for me. It's just what we did. I went into the class to ask where Sammy had gone but the teacher wasn't there either. There was no one. I went back to my room to tell my teacher that Sammy had gone, but she wasn't there either. I couldn't find anyone. I was stranded in my primary school with no one to help me :'( So, thinking that I was being smart (and brave might I add) I began to walk from school to the little shop we always went to. It's not a long walk, it took about 15 minutes if you dawdled. I did not dawdle, I was petrified that someone was going to kidnap me or that I was going to miss the bus and mummy would get angry at me so I ran as fast as my legs could carry me and got to the bus stop in about 3 minutes - no joke!
As was my custom, I went into the shop, bought my sweeties and had a wee chat with the shopkeepers who were always more than friendly and weren't scared of giving us some free sweeties.Being responsible adults they asked where my brother was. Finally it hit me that the man that might have kidnapped me had kidnapped Sammy and I conveniently burst into tears. I had no idea what to do. How could I go home and try to tell my mummy that my brother had been kidnapped? It didn't even register that Thomas might be able to tell me where he was. If I just waited a few minutes all would be well. I proceeded to wail in the middle of the shop and panic about my brother's safety. After calming down I went to wait on the bus. No, changed my mind. I should go back to school and get help for Sammy. Off I went all the way back to school worrying that I was next.
I got back to school and was met with the extremely confused faces of teachers. Why was I still there? Had my lift not arrived? Where was Sammy? CRY CRY BLOODY CRY! Some teacher decided that they needed to ring my mother and off she went. While she was gone I realised that they weren't going to help me or Sammy and I went back to get the bus. Even though I'd been worried that I would miss the bus the first time I left school, this time I didn't care. This time I wanted help to save my brother. I went back into the shop and by this time I was distraught. I was then informed that my brother had been at the shop about half an hour after me and was looking for me. He'd come in with a man with a moustache and was holding his hand. My father does not have a moustache and I concluded that this was his kidnapper. I was told to wait at the shop and they'd phone the man who was with my brother. I know thought that the shopkeepers were in on the crime and were phoning the man so he could come and get me. That set me off crying again.
By the time Sammy and the man showed up I was in no fit state and truly believed I was never going to see any of my family, except Sammy again. Sammy came into the shop took me by the hand and began consolling me whereas the man with the moustache began to shout at me! Now, I don't know about you, but shouting at a small child who thinks her brother has been kidnapped and that it's now her turn has to be some form of child abuse! I was led to a big fancy car, put in the back seat with a carton of juice and asked to calm down. As we began driving away I thought I was being taken to my doom! After some time I looked out the window and recognised the area, we were going back to my house!! What was happening? Why was the kidnapper taking me home? Maybe he didn't want a whiny crying child in his dungeon, but I was thankful. When we got home, the man, Sammy and myself went into the kitchen where my mother sat looking as if someone had died. I took a seat in the corner with my juice and listened while the kidnapper and my mummy talked for a while. she eventually thanked him and showed him out.
It transpired that while I was wondering around town looking for my family, Sammy was in the school assembly hall at choir practise. This seems to be where all the confusion began. No one informed me that he was in a choir, I didn't even know what a choir was! And no one told me that I was supposed to wait at the back of the hall until he was done and that Mummy was coming to get us at 4. When the practice was over and they realised I was gone, apparently all hell broke loose and a search party broke out. When I arrived back at school searching for help they had gone to call my mother to tell her they found me and to phone the kidnapper to tell him. The kidnapper turned out to be the school's vice principal and also a neighbour of ours. He drove us home to save my mother having to come back into the town. Needless to say, after that I was carefully watched for a few weeks.
Moral of this story. Carefully explain to small children that their rountine has changed!!!
