Last night I had the mother of all crying fits. I was trying to get to sleep around 3am and I'd stuck my headphones on because I just wasn't drifting off.
Then all of a sudden, I decided that I didn't want to be a teacher anymore. I sat up, I took a deep breath and then FUCK! I started crying, and crying, and then a little more. Til I could barely breath.
I jumped onto my laptop
and spoke to my brother, all the while I was reenacting the scene from Alice in Wonderland where she floods the place with tears. I admitted to my brother and myself that I wasn't sure if I was going to be a good teacher, and better yet, I didn't know if I was able to finish my final year.
and spoke to my brother, all the while I was reenacting the scene from Alice in Wonderland where she floods the place with tears. I admitted to my brother and myself that I wasn't sure if I was going to be a good teacher, and better yet, I didn't know if I was able to finish my final year.
CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY - for a good bloody hour too.
And I couldn't stop at all. My brother talked me to a little bit, convinced me not to make any decisions that I'd regret in the morning and to try and get some sleep. I climbed into bed, sent an email to my lecturer telling her I need a chat and tried to sleep.
Even when lying down and trying to sleep, I still bloody cried. 6am and I finally dozed off.
Spoke to my mother today and told her what I was feeling. Realised that I might just be panicking about my final year and all the fun stuff that comes with it. Still gonna have that chat with my tutor
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