My face has never been so wet

Last night I had the mother of all crying fits. I was trying to get to sleep around 3am and I'd stuck my headphones on because I just wasn't drifting off. 

Then all of a sudden, I decided that I didn't want to be a teacher anymore. I sat up, I took a deep breath and then FUCK! I started crying, and crying, and then a little more. Til I could barely breath.

I jumped onto my laptop and spoke to my brother, all the while I was reenacting the scene from Alice in Wonderland where she floods the place with tears. I admitted to my brother and myself that I wasn't sure if I was going to be a good teacher, and better yet, I didn't know if I was able to finish my final year.

CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY - for a good bloody hour too.

And I couldn't stop at all. My brother talked me to a little bit, convinced me not to make any decisions that I'd regret in the morning and to try and get some sleep. I climbed into bed, sent an email to my lecturer telling her I need a chat and tried to sleep.

Even when lying down and trying to sleep, I still bloody cried. 6am and I finally dozed off. 

Spoke to my mother today and told her what I was feeling. Realised that I might just be panicking about my final year and all the fun stuff that comes with it. Still gonna have that chat with my tutor 

Remember that time when...

Remember that time when it snowed really bad a couple of weeks before Christmas? And we got let out of school early because we lived in the middle of nowhere and the staff were worried we wouldn't be able to get home? Then you rang your mum to say you were driving back and she told you that there was no way you'd make up the mountain in your little car, because he big car barely made it. So you drove our friends home after being told you had to get their parents permission to be in the car. Then we drove back to my house, and you stayed with me for 5 days or so. 

And the snow was brand new and no one had mushed it all up yet.

And we tried to build a snowman.

And I fell over because I was wearing those weird plastic shoes my mum had.

And we drank tea and then went outside.

And it was magical?

I remember that time. I remember how it was a brilliant week, it was bloody freezing but that just meant that we hugged more

That time when #1

That time before we were going out and we were in the play park with all our friends. 

I was playing on the swing and decided to jump off, landed in a big heap on the floor giggling and you were the one who came to see if I as okay. You ran to the shop to get some sticky plasters for my knee and all I could do was giggle because I kept picturing me falling in slow motion and how funny it must have looked to everyone else. Then I smiled a lot because you helped me. 

You even bought wet wipes to clean my hands and knees to get the dirt out of them, then you let me lean on you so I could stand up.

That time when...