Autumn time sadness

After 3 years and 4 months, I broke up with my boyfriend. When I say I broke up with him, I mean we broke up. I'm still not sure who did the breaking but it broke. Anyway, I was fine when it happened, cried a little, but  kinda saw it coming so I wasn't too bad. Now however, I get sad at the drop of a hat. 

By the way, this isn't supposed to be a 'poor me, listen to what makes me sad' post so you can read on without being sick or wanting to hit me.

I didn't realise quite how much of my life I had connected to my relationship, there has been so much in fact, that I regularly get slapped by small things in my day to day tedium that make me go 'oh yeah, i used to have a boyfriend'. For example, the password for my phone was the date we started seeing each other - i failed to notice this until today (its has been changed), I also didn't notice how much I talk about him - almost every conversation I have involves me connecting what we're talking about to him and every other song that I hear makes me think of a time when we sang it in his car or when we sent it to each other just to say it was really good. 

But that stops now! Now I am strong independent black woman! (this is a joke)

Now I can do what I like, when I like. I don't need to worry about not talking for 2 days in case someone gets angry because I don't have to talk to him! We're trying the 'let's be friends' thing at the minute and I do find it odd not talking every day, because quite simply he was my best friend. But it's too goddamn weird to talk to him about having a bad day because the way he used to fix it was to be a complete twat with me and make me laugh -  that just doesn't work these days. 

I'm not sure why it's taken over a week for me to start to feel sad and to notice all the things in my life that are linked to the relationship and everything that's going to have to change, but it sure is horrible. God knows what'll happen next, but I hope it isn't as confusing as all this!

Men are nuts, woman are crazy. 

The Return Rant

It's been blimming ages since I've written anything and to be quite honest with you there isn't much to update you on.

I've started my final year of uni and at the end of this year (god willing) I'll be a qualified teacher with a decent degree behind me and I'll be forced to pretend to be an adult for the majority of the rest of my life - not looking forward to this.

I've moved back into halls again this year and have become a subwarden, basically, I get to switch the alarm off and deliver post to people who are too lazy to come down and get it themselves. 

The biggest update about me is the fact that I've lost at last a stone since June 2013. I'm very proud of myself and hopefully I'll keep going. I fall off the shelf(?) every now and then but I do climb back up and start again. I've been trying to convince people to do more with me, but, as I've found out, people are useless and just want to sleep most of the time. 

Anyway, the reason I've come back to my little blog is to have an almighty rant. It's safe to do it here because I know no one will read the damn thing. My rant will begin... NOW

Today, I hate people. I hate people who ask stupid questions, I hate people who feel the need to tell me all about their lives, even when it was the same as last week, I can't stand people who don't answer their phone when I need them, I hate people who think they have some sort of power over a group simply because they might be the oldest or because they know a little but more than everyone else, I hate people who feel the need to reiterate someone else has just said, especially when I WAS THERE TO HEAR IT IN THE FIRST PLACE and I hate people who smell funny even when they clean themselves - why do you still smell? Why? Someone please explain this to me.

I also hate lazy people, not people who can't be bothered to pause the tv to take their dish back to the sink, but those people who need a nap between going to the shop and making their dinner. How can you possibly need a nap? You've been awake 3 hours and been outside for 10 minutes.

I also hate the fact that I've had a headache for the past 4 days and nothing i do will get rid of it. NOTHING. In fact, the fact I have a headache is probably why all these things are annoying me so much right now. All I really want to do, is go home and get my mum to make a cuppa and have a chat with her, then she can laugh at me because I said something wrong.  I want to curl into a ball and leave the world behind. In fact, after this I'm very likely to make a fort out of my bed and hide inside until everyone stops being a dick. 

I'm also ridiculously sad at the minute and nothing is cheering me up. So if anyone has some magic remedy it would be greatly appreciated.  I am angry at the world and it's done nothing wrong. I'm also strangely jealous of everyone else's room in halls. They all have shitloads of cool nic nacs that make the room theirs and all I have is a load of pictures that make me want to go home before the week is out. In fact, if I had more money, I'd be on a plane home at the end of the week and everything would be awesome!

Now that I've written this, I'm not sure if I'm angry with everyone else, or just scarily lonely? Possibly both and neither. Just bored. Anyway, I'm off!