I haven't even left yet!!

So, I piss off to London in 17 days and leave my dear wee mammy at home with Emma and 4 doggies, a bird and a rabbit - at least she won't be lonely.

To try and make the most of the whole Uni experience I joined a few Facebook groups that were relevant to me, you know the sort. A freshers party group, a group to meet people from my halls and even one to try and help me get a job. 

I wondered how long it'd take before someone of a different ethnicity (already practising being more PC than I normally am ) would contact me and try and chat me up. Well, it happened today. 

Ajayi Oluseyi mailed me on Facebook asking me about uni. A farely harmless 
request I thought, he just wants to talk to someone who he might meet at uni.


Well, was I wrong. First this happened....

Yes, I have a child.

Needless to say as soon as I realised he could see all my photo's I changed my privacy settings. I don't want bum raped. BUT I remember the lesson's I learnt from Thomas. If the threat of bum rape is imminent CLENCH AND RUN!!! I'm quite the savvy lady. I'm not sure what I was expecting to happen after this, perhaps a short message about how my SON was lovely and I should be proud of him. Alas, this is not what transpired, this is....

Well, what I expected kinda happened, my SON does look like me apparently.


 * For those of you a little slow on the uptake, this is infact a picture of me around the age of 5, and yes, I know that I look like a boy. However, there is no need to point this out when you are a complete stranger *


And there it was, the inevitable. ARE YOU SINGLE? Which translates into 'Do you wanna be my hoe and come take drugs in my drug den in the arse end of London while all my mates sit around and take drugs. You make the food, become a whore and I PIMP slap you every now and then to show you who's boss?' (I've gone back to being non PC. OOPS)


Anyway I kindly told ould whatisface to please leave me alone a find another piece of white chick to abuse and whore out to his druggie mates. Obviously I said it in a much nicer manner than that. I am not an animal after all.

Non voglio parlare con te non c'è più, si svuota guidato cibo tergicristallo animaliattraverso. Io scoreggia nella vostra direzione generale. Tua madre era un criceto e tuo padre odore di sambuco.